Dancing Is for Girls? Hell No!
I wrote this on Facebook about eight years ago. I’ve been off social media for about three years now, but I logged in this week to reconnect with a few old friends before deactivating again, and this post turned up in my feed. Brought back some funny memories, and I thought it was worth sharing here on the blog, so here it is word for word, with the original video at the bottom.
And guess what? It’s now been 15 years of dancing and still going strong! The last 3 years I’ve leaned more into solo stuff, Hip Hop and Afrobeats. I’m so glad I found dancing. It shaped me and strengthened me in every single way I can think of: physically, mentally, emotionally. The lot.
The post below is from my 35th birthday. A close mate dug up a video of where the whole thing started, my very first contemporary dance class, filmed in secret (lol, fuckers!). So read it, watch it, and have a little laugh at my expense.
The original post (Facebook, 2017)
So it was my 35th birthday 2 days ago and a close friend of mine decided to send me a reminder of where my dance journey all began.
(I am so glad they still have it, and I can see the humour of it. They secretly visited and filmed it when I told them I am going to a contemporary dance class - this is the first time this video ever been made public!)
6 years ago I decided to dance and went on a sole journey. Not because I had any talent or knew how to dance at the time, but because I always had a feeling to dance but never had the balls or courage to do it alone.
Why did I not start earlier? It was all mental barriers and dance stigma.
"Dancing was for girls, it was for gays, it was for sissies, it was not manly, what would my friends and family think"
I remember after many years and attempts of asking friends to go together because I was too afraid and also none of them showed any interest in dance. I still did not dance.
It was only a year before I hit my 30's when realising I've wasted my whole 20's waiting for others. Time doesn't wait for anyone, this is the truth. This is when I made the biggest decision in my life. To change my decision-making approach.
Life is filled with choices. To do it, or have an excuse not to do it. However, If doing it, do it all the way -- don't do shit half way!
So obviously, I did make my choice to learn how to dance and just do it all alone. If anyone wanted to tag along. Great. If no-one else does, that's okay too, because I'm going nonetheless.
This approach is something I've been using since that day and it has taken me to countless countries and travels. I am still learning multiple dances, spent a year doing MMA, learn to Dinghy sail, learned to scuba dive, learned some bushcraft skills and the list goes on.
I have to admit, my life journey feels like it just began. Dance had become not a skill or hobby. It's my passion, my life philosophy and catalyst to start doing other things. By incorporating the way I want to live and learn in dance to my everyday life.
Over the years, I've interact with many people (new dancers and dancers to be). One of the most common struggles is self doubt. This self creation of walls and barriers.
"I am not good at this, I have no dance talent, I wish I started dancing when I was a kid, I have no musicality". Most of these thoughts occur when you watch other experienced dancers move so beautifully across the dance floor.
I would like to say, I feel ya! Me too! The point of this post, was a great reminder to myself and maybe others to keep dancing and take it up if you've always wanted to!
If someone like me, who you can clearly see in the video, had no talent in music or dance, I am that guy who misses every beat and counts. For those who have danced with me recently would know, I can somewhat dance a little better now, but not everyone could see the long hard journey another person had made.
Remember, a challenge is not worthy without the struggle. We would not cherish and love it as much as we do if we didn't have to make any efforts for it.
Enjoy the video and have a little laugh
Hoi x
The video
The secretly-filmed evidence: my very first contemporary dance class, all those years ago.
(Can’t see it? Watch the original video on YouTube.)
15 years in and I’m still at it. If you’ve ever had that little itch to dance and kept talking yourself out of it, take this as your nudge. Just go. You won’t regret it.